Fly Catcher
by IZzaR-ThE-BiZarrE
Summary: "So what am I, the Squalo to your Xanxus?" "Well you've got the hair for it" "And you have the temper" An inter-connecteddrabble series detailing the lives of Oga and Furuichi. As Girls. No pairings. Yet.
1. Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I do not own Beelzebub.**

Going to a new school nearly every year had become something of a routine for eleven year old Furuichi Tenma. Her father was a software programmer and designer; however, despite the lucrative nature of the business it often caused them to move quite a lot to accommodate it as well.

However, Furuichi didn't mind the moving all that much, because even though she left many friends behind daddy bought the best presents to make up for it. She always had the latest video games and the best new game consoles to show for. So, of course she was going to make new friends.

'Yep going to make lots of new friends' Furuichi thought sleepily as she help on tightly to the stuffed teddy bears in her hands. Her fingers traced idly over the ice pink lettering that read: "We'll Miss You" fondly two more times before sitting the bear gently on her bedside table and climbing into bed.

The next morning the bear is all but forgotten as she dresses hurriedly in a fit of: "First Day" jitters. She dashes into the bathroom and washes her face with a cold towel in last ditch effort to kill the nerves. It works if only for the moment and she begins calmly getting ready to face her new peers at new school in a new area where she knows no on-

And, no. She stops that train of thought before it can gain speed because in that way lay a whole new can of nervous worms waiting to burst out the can.

Out of the corner of her eye she glimpses the bear sitting innocently on her table and steels spine, hands clenching to stop the last bouts of nervous trembles.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Inhale.

Exhale.

.In . . -(Hmm that sounds wrong to her ears but she too nervous to decide why right now)Out

With a much cooler head she begins to methodically brush her hair. Furuichi's hair is easily enough one of her best features in her opinion and the minds of others as well. The long silver strands leave her transfixed as she studiously attends to every strand. They glint off the light from the sun and remind her of the stars in the night sky.

Finished with her task she finally gives her reflection a good look.

Hair shining and glistening. Check

Face clear and clean. Check

No booger bats in the cave. Check

Satisfied with her appearance, Furuichi smiled and turned to look at the bear on her table one last time. "Well I'm Off" she smiled sunnily closing the door with a firm _**Click.**_

Suddenly, the door opened up once more a sheepish Furuichi stepped in hurriedly making grabbing motions with her hand.

"Hahaha, forgot my bag"Furuichi laughed nervously.

The bear stared. And stared.

"Oh shut Up" 

The bear stared.

"You kno-"

"FURUICHI!"

A shout interrupted the ensuing (one-sided) argument.

"I'M COMING MOM"

Furuichi shouted, grab the aforementioned bag, and then she trampled out the door without a backward glance.

On the bedside table the bear continued to stare and stare in silence

Then-

"_**IDIOT"**_


	2. Change

The plot bunnies caused this chapter to be longer.

Blame them.

Disclaimer : I do not own Beelzelbub.

Chapter 2: Change

Schools are all the same in Furuichi's mind. If you've seen one then you've seen them all is her motto on the subject. And it has always been that way no matter where she goes and what school she happens to attend.

Coming to this new school should have been no different.

Hint: The key word is should.

But there was something about Henkō Gakuen that made it different. Even the air felt still when she first set foot in the school.

Bump. Bump.

'My heart is beating so fast' Furuichi gulped, hand rubbing her throat. Dammit, why was it so damn dry?

Bump. Bump. Bump.

With every step she took Furuichi's sandal clad felt like lead boots instead. To keep herself from focusing on her Fast Approaching DoomTM Furuichi decided to focus on her toes instead.

Furuichi's feet were small and dainty just like a "little lady" as her mama liked to say. They looked even more so with the sparkly pink toe nail polish she had painted them with.

So engrossed with her toe nails she was that Furuichi didn't notice her destination had been reached until—

"Oof"

- the wind was quite literally knocked out of her as she ran head first into the back of her lumbering tour "guide"

The guide in question was huge mountain of a man aptly named Yama Yamamoto or "Yama-sensei" as he asked her to refer to him as.

Yama-sensei was a huge giant of man with thick bulging muscles that looked as if they would burst from his immaculate black suit, a strong neck that looked as if it could crack nuts, and a tan weathered face. Furuichi privately thought Yama-sensei would tower over her even if she somehow spontaneously gained six extra feet of height. The man was huge

Despite his very Yakuza-esque stereotype looks, Furuichi got the feeling that Yama-sensei was more of a gentle giant than a skilled assassin for old clandestine illegal operations.

It could be the fact that he had a very gentle aura about him as he gave her a tour of the school and didn't get mad at her even though she wasn't paying attention or it could also be because—

"FURUICHI-CHAN! ARE YOU OKAY! WAAA! CAN YOU HEAR ME! AHH-"

-he was currently on his knees having a nervous breakdown all because she happened to bump fall. There were tears in his eyes and everything. The whole situation is slightly disconcerting to say the least.

"OH MY GAWD CALL THE AMBULANCE THE ER!WAAAAA!" Now he was shouting even louder strangely no one was coming though despite the noise he was making.

Looks like Furuichi was on her own then. Gingerly she stood to reassure the man but-

"Eto, sensei" she tried

"_AAAAAAAAAAAHQ!" he wasn't making it easy so if can beat 'em-

"SENSEEEIIIIII!"Join 'em.

He stopped instantly eyes wide and attention firmly on her.

Furuichi cleared her throat, "Sensei I'm fine" she assured the man who though he had stopped crying still had tears in his eyes.

Silence reigned, then

"FURU-CHAN!"

Let it be said that anyone who tells you that having an Incredible Hulk of a teacher jumping toward with tears in his eyes you in a flying leap when you are eleven is not the most terrifying thing in the world, then they are fastidiously stupid.

And you should slap them.

Hard.

"Well I had a good run" was Furuichi's last thought as she covered her arm above her head in a futile effort to protect her head from harm.

With those words in mind she closed her eyes waiting for oblivion.

It never came.

Instead as she tentatively opened one eye the sight that greeted her was simply stupefying.

In front her the giant Yakuza resembling Yama-sensei was laid out flat at the feet of a diminutive woman with bright eye-watering green hair and pitch black eyes nearly throughout the entire iris.

Furuichi was instantly terrified.

The creepy smile that the woman had aimed her way wasn't helping matters either.

'Oh shit' Furuichi privately lamented 'I'm so not gonna survive in this crazy ass school. What kind of hellhole have I entered?'

"Furuichi" a light deceptively kind voice intoned on her thoughts

Directly in her face was that green haired mini she-Devil.

So Furuichi did what she knew best.

Screamed.

"AAAAHHH" she shrieked

"Oh did I startle you" the tone was sympathetic but that smirk that the mini devil tried to hide behind a dainty hand was telling Furuichi that the evil woman was either amused or had done that on purpose.

It was probably both.

"Furuichi Tenma-chan" the tone was so sickly sweet that it made her hair stand on end.

"Y-yes ma'am" Furuichi stood at attention

"You are in class 1-B"

A statement, but Furuichi hesitantly nodded anyway.

Then the green devil smiled and Furuichi damn near turned tail and ran.

"Well then welcome to Henko Gakuen. Let's be good to one another hmm."

"Huh" Furuichi was confused, terrified, and feeling faint all at once. The sinking feeling in her stomach wasn't helping matters either.

"Oh perhaps I should elaborate" the woman said once more getting in Furuichi's personal space or trying to as Furuichi continuously took steps backward to avoid her.

Then just as she-devil had literally backed her into a corner, she leaned forward and whispered gleefully, "Welcome Fuuruu chan", she purred gleefully, "to Henko Gakuen. I'm your homeroom teacher for the foreseeable future. But don't worry I'll take good care of you"

Were it not for the brick wall at her back Furuichi is pretty sure she would have fainted blissfully as it was she settled for paling drastically and slumping over. Her world view as instantly reduced to the sight of her sparkling pink toe nail. The lustrous shine they held as they twinkled back her through the cloud of evil and despair seemed to mock her just like that stupid teddy bear.

"Stupid Toes" she muttered.


	3. Effervescence

**Disclaimer: I do not own Beelzebub **

Chapter 3: Effervescence.

Or a day in the life of the bubbly, every cheerful, never ever boring Oga household.

Warning: light breaking of the fourth wall ahead and possible rambling.

123.

_**One hundred and twenty three.**_

There were exactly one hundred and fucking twenty goddamn three lines on cracks in the ceiling above Oga Miyabi's head.

How did she know this, well let's just say Oga Miyabi spent a lot of times looking towards the ceiling.

No, NOT like _**that**_ ya dirty perv! It was because-

**BANG. CRASH. BOOM!SCREEEEEECH!**

The sounds of mayhem above her once again drew Miyabi's attention skyward, immediately her eyes were drawn to the thin barely but still there crack. Sigh. Now there 124 cracks in her ceiling. She took a breath and then-

"Miiisakkkiiiiiii! Tamaaaaaaoooo!"

She bellowed embedding all the rage and frustration she felt with her two children. Hopefully, if they valued their lives they would take the hint that their mother was fed up with their antics. Then like god little children they'd bow their heads in repentance and—

- **BOOM.**_**THUNK.**_**BAMM! "**_**YEEEOUCH",**_ That last one sounded like the youngest girl, and Oooh hadn't she told them to stop with that racket ages ago? They interrupting her while she was cooking for her darling husband weeelll no more!

With that thought in mind Oga Miyabi rolled up her sleeves both physically and metaphorically. She sighed deeply, as her glasses glinted ominously with an unholy light.

Cracking her knuckles and neck in a Chuck Norris-esque fashion, "It's time for the Ultimate Sliding Bow of Love" she said as she trekked toward the stairs.

Making her way up the stairs Miyabi noted vaguely the copious amount of clothing and shoes, on the stairway

"What the-"Miyabi started as red blur whizzed over her head, she barely dodged in time as it impacted in the wall, and it was-

"Eh is that Misaki's Red Tail's shirt" she had barely finished examining the item in question before a black blur swished past her taking along with it about an inch of its hair before kamikaze flight ended prematurely with a dull thwack as it embedded itself ramrod straight into an old portrait on the wall.

But, as Miyabi realized with a dawning horror, this wasn't just any portrait! Oh no, it was the commemorative portrait of Miyabi and her darling celebrating their ultra-super-duper uber important 1 year, 6 months, 9 days, 8 hour, 6 minutes, 32 seconds,5 millisecond and counting anniversary.

Frantically Miyabi checked for any sign of damage to her most precious item and found it irrevocably damage for there on the photo between her and her darling's faces separating their digitally captured lips was a gaping hole.

"AIIIIIIYAAAAAH!" Miyabi cried in soul wrenching despair as her mind worked furiously to grasp the situation.

There were three golden rules in the Oga household regarding Oga Miyabi

Never insult her darling( anything less than respect is an insult to Miyabi)

Never interrupt/insult her cooking.

Never try to separate Miyabi from her darling.

Tamao and Mitsui had unknowing and quite stupidly broken all three rules and when that, oh that was the single worst mistake of their live, for when you break Oga Miyabi's three golden rules, it awakens Dark Miyabi and when that happens you abandon all hope.

As if to demonstrate this statement, Miyabi punched the wall in front of her leaving a gaping hole the size a large dog.

"Misaki! Tamaoooo!" she screamed her voice raw for the umpteenth time, but this time much more guttural, bloodthirsty, and deadly.

She stomped the rest of the way up the stair her heavy killing intent laden feet leaving splintered wood on the oak stairway.

As she got closer to her destination the sounds of fighting became more pronounced.

"where is it ya little brat" she heard Misaki demand in a sinister voice.

"I told ya I don't have it you hag!" Tamao, her youngest child replied.

Crash! Wham!

Bang! Thwack!

"Tell me, where it is you little shrimp." Misaki yowled indignant.

Miyabi reached her destination, and in true Oga fashion she opened the door in the way only a member of the Oga family would.

"I ain't got your stupid—"

She kicked the door down, the wooden door crinkling under her foot like wet tissue paper.

The scene that greeted her was like something out of a horror movie.

Rage momentarily extinguished from shock, Miyabi could do nothing but stare at the sight in front of her.

There manga books scattered all across the floor even Tamao's most precious limited edition "Ramen Man" manga was not spared from the carnage. Speaking of ramen there was a substance that looked like ramen splattered on the walls and parts of the ceiling.

'Looked Like' being the operative words as what it actually could be was a mystery Miyabi was not all that gung-ho to know. So, for the sake of Miyabi's sanity and the audience's gag reflexes let's just call it ramen.

Ramen, aside, there clothes scattered every way Miyabi looked and on the ceiling hanging like a sacrificial offering was Oga Tamao. Around her neck was a makeshift noose made from one of Misaki's bras as Misaki herself played jury, executioner and judge with a rubber chicken as a weapon?

"What the hell is going on here" Miyabi bellowed as the bizarre scene before her began to get stranger and stranger.

"Eh Mom?" Misaki questioned," where did you come from"

"Older hags" Tamao screeched "help me the younger hag won't leave me alone and she's trying to kill me

"SILENCE!" Miyabi bellowed "what I want to know is why you two are acting like this!"

"The hag's gone crazy" "The brat stole from me mom" they said at the same time.

"No you did"

"Stop talking at the same time"

"You Stop"

"ARRG!"

"HAGFACE!" "BRAT!"

"MOM!"

Miyabi had head bowed her eyes shadowed when the two siblings finally looked up long enough to pay attention to her.

"Uh, Mom are you okay" Misaki tentatively asked. Behind her dangling helplessly Oga had the same question burning on her tongue albeit in a more juvenile and disrespectful fashion.

"-ceful" Miyabi mumbled

"Huh" the demon sisters questioned

"DISGRACEFUL! IT'S A DISGRACE" Miyabi raged at her daughters.

"IT'S A DISGRACE THAT I HAVE RAISED SUCH DISGRACEFUL DAUGHTERS, BUT NEVER FEAR I OGA MIYABI SHALL FIX THAT!" the ever proud matriarch of the Oga household remarked with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Mom I don't like that look in your eye" Misaki said as she backed away slowly, looking for possible exits.

Ah Ha! There! The window, it was two story house and they were on the second level, but Misaki was confident that she could make. Besides she'd take her chances on the two story drop than whatever her mom had in mind.

Decision made Misaki high tailed it in the direction of the window

"Hag, wait" Misaki turned to her sister. She had forgotten all about her in her haste to get away.

"Take me with you" Mao Mao, Misaki's nickname for Tamao, pleaded eyes shining with unshed tears of desperation( in Misaki's mind only, in reality Tamao was choking back tear of pain as she struggled to escape from her 'noose, which was incidentally Misaki's favorite bra, black lace with pink icing trim.

In a rare moment of sisterly support and devotion, Misaki asked "Eh you're still here Mao Mao?"

Or not.

"Of course you idiot, how the hell did you expect me to escape" Tamao shouted heatedly

"Oh yeah. Heh Heh!"

"Yeah, whatever, now get me down before the hag does"

Tamao thought about it.

"Hmm, no"

"NO! Whaddaya mean No, you hagfish?"

"Well", Misaki started "one of us has to be Mom's sacrifice and I choose you Maomon"

"Bye now?" Misaki turned only to find herself horrified as she saw who blockaded the door.

Oga Miyabi stood in her way armed with rope two pink bundles of cloth and an armload of cosmetics.

"Now", Miyabi smiled sinisterly as she lightly stretched her rope for emphasis, "we can do this the easy way or they hard way.

In response, Tamao resumed struggling the same as before only ten times for furiously and Misaki bolted in the directed of the door only to find it locked from the outside.

"Hard way it is" Miyabi said ignoring her children's struggles as she pounced.

Oga Takao has been having a shitty day. His boss was yakking on him once again for things that weren't his fault.

It wasn't his fault that the damn copy machine broke, and he hadn't meant to break it when he punched it, he was just trying to fix.

That's what they always did in the movies when something broke, right. They punch kicked and hit it until it started working.

Then if that wasn't enough some punk stole his wallet and when he chased the brat all the way home, the bastard's parents tried to call the cops on him.

Then he, ahem, persuaded them not to and his wallet was returned with interest.

Heh.

No good little shit for brains.

But that was all over now and now he could return home to his loving family.

His loving family where Misaki and Tamao would be at each other's throat and Miyabi would be at their throats then there would be carnage and crying as Miyabi tearfully apologized to him in her Ultimate Sliding BowTM.

And he still wouldn't get any dinner out of it in the end.

"Ugh, maybe I should stop by the Yakisoba shop" Takao thought but it was too late he had made it home already during his musing.

'Well no help for it' Takao told himself defeated.

He opened his door and modestly said, "I'm home" because rarely was he ever heard in all the chaos of the house.

But tonight it was eerily quiet.

"Did they kill each" he wondered aloud gulping at the thought.

Then,

"Welcome home Danna" a voice sounded.

"Welcome home father" two light voice sounded immediately after first perfectly in sync.

Takao turned and his mouth dropped open at the sight.

His darling Miyabi sat in seiza position black hair pulled back into an intricate bun in a beautiful black kimono with intricate gold designs that he had bought her for white day two years ago.

His two daughters bought wore pink kimonos with hand-woven yellow canary and lily blossom stitching. Misaki short hair was arranged into a sleek pixie cut style held back by a bejeweled lily hair clip. Tamao, his little girl, Mao had her unruly long hair sleek and straight for the first time in her life and had her bangs cut Chinese style.

Seeing her husband dumbfounded Miyabi giggled and led him to the dinner table where once again Takao face became slack with shock at the feast that lay before him.

"Uh Miyabi, dear how—"

"Shh dear don't talk just eat" she said smiling as she gestured to the five star feast laid out before him.

"But—" All protest died on his tongue as she shoved that first bit of food into his mouth.

Mmmm. SO Delicious!

"More sake dear?" Miyabi, his sweet wife questioned.

"Mmmphf"Takao grunted noncommittally

"Misaki, pour your honored father some sake" Miyabi ordered sharply.

"Yes mother." Misaki said voice strained and brittle.

Had Takao have been paying attention would have noticed the strained smile on his daughters' faces and the way Tamao twitched every second and how Miyabi sent a gimlet eyed glare at him every four seconds as well.

"Tamao, serve your honored father more food" Miyabi ordered again

"Yeah, yeah" Tamao grumbled.

"What was that"

"Nothing I said Yes mother"

"Hmph" Miyabi sniffed before turning moon eyes back on her darling. Nothing could ruin this night, nothing at all.

"Hey Miyabi is that our picture over there on the floor." Takao asked obliviously

Or not.

Then the house descended into chaos.

Well, Takao thought optimistically after calming the girls downs and convincing Miyabi not commit both child homicide and seppuku for the 'dishonor upon our honored memories', at least I got to eat some delicious food tonight.


End file.
